At Least it’s something to hang our hats on

by Tommy Dee on February 17th, 2009 at 6:07 pm

The following submission was sent in by ranter extraordinaire John “king of 8 foot rims” Maloney. As always, we welcome any submission from fans so send them to theknicksblog@gmail.com and we’ll post.

We are the Champions!!

Be proud Knick fans. You root for a champion. Today, you should walk around wearing your finest Knick gear proudly. And when you encounter a friend, a coworker, your boss, the Starbucks barista, anyone, you can “pop” your Knick shirt in front them and say “Champioooooons!” Really, you can. It’s fun. I did it for a whole year after the Giants Super Bowl.

Let the record show that the New York Knicks have, in fact, won something in the 35 plus seasons since their last NBA title. Unfortunately, it’s only a slam-dunk championship, a gimmicky contest meant for fun. But for now I’ll take it. We’re champions of something. Woohoo!! And, thanks to Nate Robinson’s second title Saturday night, the Knicks are second only to the Atlanta Hawks in NBA slam-dunk championships.

Atlanta Hawks – 4

New York Knicks – 3

6 teams – 2

6 teams – 1

Hell yeah! That makes the Knicks a dynasty. Celtic and Laker fans can take their wussy NBA championships and cram it! Champioooooonnsssss!!

I got one major problem though. And I state this with the complete understanding of how silly it seems to take someone to task for their performance in an event where the goals are to entertain the fans and have fun. It is silly, but then so is finding yourself cheering and rooting for your player to win the gimmick competition. So might as well go whole hog and ask:

What the hell was Nate Robinson doing jumping off the back of Wilson Chandler in one of his dunks?? I nearly had a heart attack. I can’t imagine the Knicks brass knowing about this and allowing it.

DONNIE WALSH: Hey Mike, what are Nate and Wilson doing?

MIKE D’ANTONI: Oh, they’re practicing for the slam-dunk competition. Nate’s going to use our young, dynamic, up and coming forward’s spine as a trampoline to the hoop.

DONNIE WALSH: Wonderful! Outside of the chance that one of Wilson’s vertebrae could fracture while Nate goes flying into the basket support, this should be cool.

MIKE D’ANTONI: Absolutely. Oh look, Nate’s lighting the roman candles.

(In related news, David Wright announced that for the next Home Run Derby, he plans to use Jose Reyes’s head as a batting tee. Fred Wilpon was not available for comment as he’s in Paterson, New Jersey pawning off some Rolex watches.)

And the more you think about it, besides the potential injury disaster, should using some sort of prop as leverage to jump even be allowed? I’m all for the players getting creative, but the central idea behind the contest is still to jump on your own from the floor and dunk the ball right? Otherwise, let’s start using trampolines. Or use some elaborate gymnastics routine where David Lee flips Nate over a flaming piranha tank.

Ok, enough silly nitpicking. I think it’s cool that Nate won. I clearly remember Kenny “Sky” Walker winning the contest in 1989. The Jordan-Dominique Wilkens battles were memorable as was Vince Carter’s 2000 performance. Until 2010 at the earliest, this will probably be the closest we get to a championship but it’s still memorable in some small way.

So congratulations to Nate Robinson on another slam-dunk trophy. He continues to be the most entertaining and fun player we have. I hope Donnie Walsh can keep him. Nate can be a great sixth man when the Knicks become a championship contender. And of course, there’s the added benefit of seeing him return as a Knick to defend his crown against Dwight Howard (who a freaking monster) and hopefully Lebron James, who said he wanted in foe next year. Like you wouldn’t be glued to the TV, rooting hard for Nate.

Until he wheels out the flaming piranha tank.